Musings #111

What do you do when you can’t help feeling a certain kind of way? There is no right or wrong to it. But you end up feeling helpless, at the mercy of your own will. I am realising that moving past a mistake is difficult. You know that’s the only way out of your misery. But you can’t seem to do it anyway. The feeling erupts unannounced, and leaves you disappointed over the progress you have made. Makes you feel that you’ll never move on. But you know you will move on. Just need to figure out how. Can’t be impossible, isn’t it?

Musings #109

I wouldn’t try. Not even blink an eye.

Would neither complain nor say a word.

No deliberations, no hurried temptations.

This time, I will just be. Because, I know not another way.

Would smile with the wind, and cry with the rain.

Blend with the changing seasons, adapt where I didn’t belong.

Write crappy poems, and sing forlorn songs.

Spend lonely nights, go on long walks.

Will feel every emotion that’s under the sun.

But I wouldn’t try. I am done trying.

Quotes #10

Hi there everyone!

No, I haven’t been good. I have to close in few loose ends. Yes, there still is some light in me. I feel too strongly and that will cause the end of me.

This is quote 3 from the three-day Quote challenge given to me by “An Ordinary Girl“. Do visit her blog, she might cheer you up. I am way behind schedule but I am putting pieces back to place. Enervated and debilitated beyond my sensibilities. I really need to rest my mind. Anyway, here goes:

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“Sometimes, you just have to bow your head, say a prayer, and weather the storm.”

(author unknown)

Actually, I had another quote in mind that said…sometimes, love isn’t enough; but it’s fine..let love not be enough..let it take the heat..let it sink..let it still exist.

My nominations: none this time. I will ensure my next award post is more peppy and interactive. For now, peace out.

 

Rants…such a waste of time.

Get your shit together! I remind myself. Almost on a daily basis. So, today has been a hectic day. By mental and physical standards. My health is deteriorating. I am sensing it. And like a fool, I am keeping record of it instead of doing something about it. Like how a 70 year old celebrity who is in hospital is reported by the tabloids. Day before yesterday, admitted. Yesterday, not looking good. Today, taking the 70 year old to surgery. Here, I am the 70 year old and I am the tabloid. I think I’ll write my story to the hospital bed. What a sad human being. I assume this is my way of staying in delusion. I am waiting for the worst moment. Like okay..life could get worst..show me how worse?! I know I am ruining it. Working late..skipping meals..sleeping and avoiding daily chores. Couldn’t these scientists come up with some vaccine that would boost your energy cells? Make you happy ..make you wanna do things the normal way? I am on the wrong track and I am coercing myself again..get your shit together. Only words. It comes from within right..that positive feeling. Have my insides gone stale? So soon? Will I never be actually happy..actually normal from the inner core of my being? I am writing this to make note of this phase. I want to get on to the next jubilient phase and write a polar opposite article against this one. I have to fix my timings, eating, learning, staying, living, breathing..i have to breathe without any thought at the back of my head. Cope with me readers. I will, rise from the dead! Or rise before I am dead!