Eons ago when my life was simpler, I used to read this and think..pfff..so dramatic!
Past few days have been anything but simple.
I broke a tooth and had root canal treatment done for my cavity stricken teeth. Did I mention my general fear of dentists and how tormenting my visits were?
This hadn’t ended, was figuring out how to pay the bills and stuff..and in middle of all of this, I had an accident. Skid my bike in rain. It was TERRIBLE, no better words to define it. This happened about five days back and I am limping to date.
I normally don’t like to make a huge deal of things..(haha..what a joke!) but this was the worrrsssssttt. There was this immediate thought when I fell, that some lorry would come from back and flatten me and go! I was wailing from pain in my feet. I felt so deep down in shit that when I called my friend from the hospital, I was laughing and crying all together. Got my mom worried a lot too.
Did find some people to count on, amidst all this, which is good!
Well, I’ll be fine. I am only learning from this. You know what they say right:
P.S. I was supposed to be waking up early and it is 3.44 am! Lord save me, no wake me!
I could better be an owl! At least that would save me from getting late for office tomorrow. Sleep disorder. Eating disorder. Let’s not even step into emotional disorder. Why am I living like this? Been there, done that, so many times. Have been out of sync so often that I have almost forgotten how it feels, to be naturally happy. There are moments when I am around people and a wave of thoughts rushes into my head and I just run amok to find some empty corner to sit and process my thoughts(therapist anyone!).
I know each one of us has issues. And a history behind it. Is happiness more rare than sadness these days? Why has discontent overtaken my content? Plus I don’t understand the concept of seeking happiness. Doing things that you consider would make you happy because, well others look happy doing it! It’s a load of crap. What I do know now is, I am on the driving seat. No one else. Have to, have to, take control.
Anyway, I think I got carried away. What I wanted to tell you all is that I recently started riding my two-wheeler to office. Stumbled, struggled, feared but I did start. Kind of a tiny big deal for me!