In betweens

What does one do with the momentary thoughts in between?

When you love a person dearly and they disappoint you gravely on some days.

When you like your job but it tires you out to exhaustion at times.

When you know your friends have your back but you hesitate to reach out.

When you adore your parents but also get annoyed with them, for not holding the phone right during video calls.

When the weather is sunny but there are clouds too.

All the riches in the world, yet you lack the feeling of contentment.

When you cherish someone’s memory but won’t contact them, as you have crossed that bridge once.

When the wound has healed but the scar is determined to stay permanent.

When you are seeking answers in black and white and it’s grey.

That weird little feeling of exasperation.

Fleeting, yet impactful.

Doesn’t linger, doesn’t simmer, still burns you from inside.

A face in Canterbury

Endeavour

Every time a person leaves you or parts way with you, they take a little bit of sparkle from your eyes. The eyes don’t shine so bright now as they used to. You can’t tell from the body language or the smile on one’s face. But eyes, they emote, they do the talking. Sometimes when I am in middle of a conversation I roll my eyes down or look away, so it doesn’t become obvious to the other person…my lost sparkle.

Musings #003

I have decided..like right now-right now, I won’t be grappled by sadness. It comes easy to me. Worrying, missing, shedding a tear, lamenting. I know the pattern now. I fuel it, and it never gets better. Sometimes I feel obligated to be sad. Oh! Such a terrible episode of my life. How can I lighten up? Like this behavior is expected of me. Go by the books, stay in the rut. If I smile, 2% guilt will tag along. So…This ain’t going right. I am not doing it right. I am not required to document my struggle. Struggle is part of life, not necessarily the gist of it. O dearest whacky lil self! Let’s check out the road less traveled. Dust the shelves. Let’s tread the perky path. Tough task here is to discover, what makes me happy. I’ll find my way (Hands doing that peace out gesture).

#transitory phase from sad-sad to happy-sad