If you have read even a slight bit of my posts, you might know that I am a night owl, night-o-holic, nyctophile, name it whatever. I love the nights and everything surrounding it. The peace, the quiet, the entwined length of it, the sea of ideas, nostalgia, reflection, contemplation, I could go on and on.
A few days back, I met with an accident, which again you might/might not be privy to from my previous posts. Any which way, I started going by company cab, instead of my bike; I have booked it for a month. And it drops at sharp 8 in the morning. Prettttty early by my standards. My whole routine has taken a 180 degrees turn.
I sleep early fearing I won’t wake up on time. The fear is such that I feel guilty in staying up late, how people on diet cringe when they eat high calorie food. I even have to leave from work at a fixed time. I get a feeling like I was some carefree bird few days back who is now caged. I even figured(in just a span of 8 days by cab) that I prefer chaos more to a set routine. What is happeningggggggg?
Anyway, came across a resonating word today (Source: TFD)
So here’s what I am doing right now, staying awake, which I love.
Mornings, Early sleeps: With all due respect, Buzz Off!
If your friends start judging you..they seem less like a friend. Just be on my corner! Is that so hard? Okay this is off topic.
Past one week has been pretty much mechanical. Sleep. Eat. Work. Home. Sleep. And Loop. Haven’t checked out any latest youtube videos, haven’t checked any new stocks on shopping sites, haven’t read much or eaten anything delicious..days are rolling by. I want to travel more. Want to rumble in the dust more often. Want to drench in the rain. Want to feel that blissful air on top of mountain peaks..want my feet in the river..and want the lush greenery. Want coffee with friends on a terrace top. Want little bruises from a lover that I could secretly smile on about later. Want mom ke haath ka khana(home cooked food!). Want to be a free spirit!
Recalling those lines Ranbir Kapoor iterates in a movie…Main udna chahta hoon, daudna chahta hoon, girna bhi chahta hoon … bus rukna nahi chahta. Fly. Run. Fall. Just don’t want to stop.
Will do something to come out of this humdrum routine. Till then, ciao!
Came to a pizza outlet..sitting there..waiting for my order…could have had it home delivered..but I always come instead. I like going through the added trouble..makes it worth the wait may be..and no I am not going to blog about my every waking activity..:D..but coming here gives me minutes to think..a friend of mine disconnected himself from all social media..whatsapp etc..he says it consumes his time..another friend says she wants some me time..she will go and sit by the beaches for hours..I guess this can count as one of my odd habits..coming alone, sitting, staring, waiting. Don’t know, I kind of like it.
I feel a little normal these days. It is like I was going through some inexplicably difficult time and now things are settling..not settling but fading may be. Getting less intense. Time works like a bandage..has anyone said it before? Or I am coining this quote.
Today, I had a hands-on experience of how it feels when you are broke. I was doing my usual thoughtless, sporadic, in-the-moment kind of shopping. First swipe done, second swipe done…third time around the swipe machine buzzed for my card…payment declined…it was exactly how they show in movies, when a person is on the verge of a financial crisis. I was like :o!! Good lord! And it hit me like a tiny little lightning bolt that I am low on balance. I guess I needed this. :D. To put some sense to my brains and reduce on the expenses. Dear next month’s salary, I’ll be gentle on you. That being said, I guess it is human to get utterly broke in your lifetime once. Sensibility on saving money is one of the last things I will attain as an adult. Signing off. 2.25 am. I need some sleep.
What I have concluded from the past few days is that, misery is over rated and it is very common too! I am talking about mild miseries here. The self instigated ones. People seldom look happy to me. When I see them on a street or watch them eating or listen to their cribbings. They look more like acting as per the surroundings. You know consciously minding their behaviour. For that matter I don’t look very over enthusiastic too. Why wouldn’t someone get a fit and start to sing out of no where? Or just pass a smile ever so often. People tag them as weird then. The other day, while travelling on a bus an old man walked up to me and gave me a candy from some walk marathon thing of his. Ain’t that nice! There were no strings attached. I guess we are more comfortable in misery, that way we don’t have to be prepared for something bad. Happiness comes with a fear that it might be snatched away. I would rather live in fear. Oh a girl and her dreams! :).