How does one think beyond the limits of one’s surroundings when one is confined in the same spot for a really long time. No change of scenery, no human interaction, no intimacy, no banters. I feel like my mind has frozen. Stuck in this loop of mundane activities, trying really hard to stay positive but to no avail. These bad thoughts and scary moments sneak their way in, somehow. I want this feeling of unrest to end. I would like to feel the lightness in my steps and have a zinger for my thoughts. It’s not like I am constantly sad. But I would like to be in a state of carefreeness. I know that feeling, I crave for it now more than ever. Peace in solace. Just, plain and simple peace. 🙂
I wish I could get by life with a little less of self doubting. Need to take that plunge. Want to break out of the humdrum. Have to act now. I miss these blogs that used to be my emotional outlets. I guess, will get back to the things I identify doing.
For some unfathomable reason I am hooked to this TV Series, Desperate Housewives. There, I put it out. Time to get off unhealthy routines.
Wonder what’s changed with WordPress during this time. Things are changing too fast around the world anyway.
Sometimes, I feel it is an okay thing to be lost and dreamy. To be so immersed in your own disorderliness that propriety feels uncanny. You get comfortable in your skin, not vain, yet extremely defensive of any change suggested otherwise. Things that made you extremely insecure at one point of time do not make much sense now. You have outgrown your own subtle dilemmas; outgrown some ties; probably outgrown some people too. Came in terms with your follies. Forgiven yourself and forgiven people who may have wronged you in the past.
Watched this movie today: Mr.Nobody, and got stuck to a quote from it:
Every path is the right path. Everything could have been anything else and it would have just as much meaning.
Living in peace does seem like a ridiculously difficult summit to achieve but one can always work in that direction.
P.S. : The title could even be Sleep Deficit Grown up talks. :D.
How do you stay sane in a mad mad world
How do you embrace the new and renounce what is familiar
How do you appease the antsy nerves
How do you trick time in your favour
How does one’s discomfort end
How do the seasons blend
How to stay your true self
And know there is nothing wrong
How do you NOT fear the unknown
How do you not assimilate
Not shape your actions based on perceptions
How does one trust and not feel stupid about it
How do these questions get answered?
P.S. – Feeling queasy on a perfectly fine Saturday morning 😐.
Sometimes I am baffled at the meaninglessness of my own existence. How little significance do I hold? How miniscule a drop I am in this ocean of a vast diversified human kind. Every one is busy with their life. If I laugh a little more one day or cry a little longer the next day, who would it affect? Each person has his own story. My story would coincide with some, but each one of us have our own shit to handle. Each one is tackling his/her own struggles . How does it matter what ice cream flavour I like or which colour is my most favourite? Some days things seem magnificently trivial to me. Like nothing matters at all.
On such hope-deprived days, I reshuffle my head. Must do. And I foster the courage to tell myself: it is one life I have been given. Be it a drop; let it mean nothing to no one. I have to, have to live it to the fullest. If and when I am remembered later on(like when I am dead), people should be like, oh! She loved with her heart and oh! She lived like there was no tomorrow..and oh! She was unstoppable…and oh this and oh that! How perfectly awesome would that be! For the sake of some after-life praise, why don’t I start valuing my present? Just saying. Some people are so darn positive they have sun rising up from their asses, the least I could do is endeavour to live life happily.
Because today is a different day altogether! Some days sail smoothly. And some are like wading through the mud. Slow. Dragging. Heavy. Cumbersome. I try to keep in mind that it is a part of the process. Every path won’t be adorned with roses. Every shade of color won’t soothe your eyes. Every food item you eat won’t spring up your taste buds. We have to know bad to realize how important good is. I guess that is nature’s way of balancing things. We see some pretty, and we see some ugly. That’s how we grow. So dear nerves, rest a little. We’ll take dives again.
Some days….the world is too much for me to take. People around seem nothing but exasperating. Too intelligent, too calculative; manipulative, immature, selfish, nonchalant, evil, rude. Yeah all of that. These days I just wish I was not a human with the ability to emote but rather some less advanced species in the food chain. To hell with survival of the fittest.
May be a duck or a swan. Some kind of bird. But then again, don’t these birds have their own set of problems? Migration, nests and stuff. I think I have that “other side of the grass looks greener” thing going around here. But at this moment I am not happy as a human. I might be grateful for it tomorrow but as of now…NO.
We cannot stop ageing, but we can stop making a big deal out of it.
We cannot foresee our future, but we can make the most of our present.
Just like we cannot go back to our past, but sure can make today a beautiful past.
Money will never be enough, can’t we learn to be content with what we have.
We cannot make someone love us, but we still can love them anyway.
Words once spoken cannot be taken back, we can take things easy and stop being rude.
We don’t know if an earthquake blows us off tomorrow, we do know we are alive this very moment.
We cannot let go, so we think; but we can, but we can.
We cannot shrink ourselves to fit in a teensy dress, but there are all sizes available and a million other dresses that we can explore.
We can’t control or agree with everything that people say, yet we can let them say it anyway. No hard feelings.
We cannot help who hurts us, we can may be learn to forgive and forget.
We cannot change our favorite ice cream from mango to say chocolate, but we sure can relish chocolate for what it’s worth.
What I want to say is, there is an antidote to every little stupid thing that occupies our mind. All we need to do is buckle up and look out for it!