I am losing confidence in myself. That can’t be good. I decide I am not good at something even before attempting it. Something is not right guys. This isn’t me.
And enough with the self victimization. I am growing old of it myself. Shitty things happen in life. Get over it. There will be new chapters. And better days.
Another noticeable fault in my system is that I am starting my day by looking at my phone screen. My inner angel self(you know out of the two, angel and demon) is questioning it too, ’Girl! Really? Morning with a phone screen!’. And I am not waking up with very good thoughts. Morning then really sets the tone of my day and I am anxious throughout.
I know better. I genuinely do. And I am not looking at my phone when I wake up tomorrow.
Adversities bring out the best in you. Or sometimes the best to you. My current adversity involves sudden malfunctioning of my phone. Malfunctioning did I say?! No…it abruptly died last week. Kind of like two people walking on a lone island..having a good time and suddenly out of no where one person drowns. In that moment..I blurted weird reactions. Firstly I got excited..okay time for a new phone! Then I felt a little bad…because as humans, we tend to get attached to myriad things. Then a thought crossed my mind…now is the time to cut off from world. My contigency plan stepped up in the form of a low key phone I used to carry five years back. I rummaged through old cartons and luckily found its charger. Now my voyage(well..sort of!) began. No mails…no notifications..no clicking of random pictures..no contacts..felt lighter in a strange way. I remembered five contacts and that was all. I was happy..carefree..strolling..wandering..sleeping without anxiety..waking up without caring to check my phone..battery of my sturdy old school lasting for two days straight..life was good. And then..well..technology got the better of me. I succumbed. I wish God had given me a stronger will power to stay disconnected. Anyway. Adversity is over. Have ordered a new phone. Truely speaking…I have mixed feelings about it. It’s like..okay now I was alone in the island..had gotten accustomed to the surroundings..was scavenging alone..having my own fun..and now a new person will tag along. Whatever! We’ll find our peace. And there is the pic…in memory of my old phone! 😛 Drew it long back..