Feelings. A very risky business. You catch them unawares. You lose them without notice. You can’t really help feeling a certain way, try as you may.
Change is imminent. But it’s those few days before the change when you’re feeling too many things.
A sweet kind of sadness lingering in the air. The helplessness to be slightly out of control. The fear of uncertainty. Where is this life heading towards next? You feel each moment a little too deeply. Things that were once quotidian present themselves in a totally different light. You smile, you cry. You lose this non-confrontational battle with your feelings. What would follow next is reminiscence. What would follow next are the challenges.
The sun rises another day, in another land and you brace yourself with the hope that it will only get better.
Could WE co-exist with a little bit of YOU and a little bit of I?
At times, there is so much of YOU that I feels trifle. Some days it’s only I and no trace of YOU. One moment too distant, next minute too involved. Do YOU and I ever find a balance? When I sulks could YOU hold strong; when YOU panics could I stay calm. When time doesn’t move forward, could I keep the clock aside? When everything is haywire, could YOU stand the storm. If only I could be I, YOU could be YOU and they still manage to discover WE; US would make quite a story!
I often feel the world runs too fast for my pace. Like I am a snail trying to keep up with a leopard. And then I ponder, why can’t I take leisure in my pace. Definitely, the leopard and I don’t have a common destination in our minds. I have stopped speculating over the would be’s. At this moment, I have ample reasons to smile. And I find that enough. Nerves being nerves always act crazy, however, there is something different in my stride. Like it has found a way to walk on. The “rasta” so we speak is foggy, full of pebbles and stones, each turn bringing a new surprise. I still like walking on it though. Let’s see where it takes me.
If a person is taking their guard down, sincerely making an effort to see you happy, expressing their fears and insecurities in moments of doubt; When you know it is not going to be just pink and peaches but also sombre shades of grey on some days. When you secretly feel universe has conspired and made you stumble across each other’s path. Even after all that has been done and dusted, when someone manages to bring a smile on your face. When they hug you and are in no rush to let go. When you are too happy and scared at the same time because nothing lasts forever. What do you do? Do you take the plunge?
It was the first time, and it wouldn’t be the last. I was filled with jitters inside my stomach, butterflies launching a torpedo. So much so that the keys wouldn’t fit in my door’s lock. One attempt, two, three..darn!..after n attempts…finally! my door obliged. The anticipation to see him was at a sky-high. As I walked a bit through my door, I saw this shadow of a guy on his bike. Oh the shadow! One of the street lights had chosen not to burn bright that night. He could see me, but I not him, subjecting me to a second later of first impression. Then he drove past the darkness and came to light. Our eyes met and mine dropped immediately after, trying to process my thoughts. It was a nice feeling. I was shy and comfortable all together. That was the first time I was meeting him. I didn’t see him much later on. But every time we meet, pit of my stomach jitters the very same. Every meet feels like a first one. I figure our first meet wasn’t the last.
P.S.: This week seems all about the prompts. I am having fun doing them though! 🙂 <3