I am losing confidence in myself. That can’t be good. I decide I am not good at something even before attempting it. Something is not right guys. This isn’t me.
And enough with the self victimization. I am growing old of it myself. Shitty things happen in life. Get over it. There will be new chapters. And better days.
Another noticeable fault in my system is that I am starting my day by looking at my phone screen. My inner angel self(you know out of the two, angel and demon) is questioning it too, ’Girl! Really? Morning with a phone screen!’. And I am not waking up with very good thoughts. Morning then really sets the tone of my day and I am anxious throughout.
I know better. I genuinely do. And I am not looking at my phone when I wake up tomorrow.
No! No! No! Don’t tell me I am a grown up. Don’t expect me to act my age. Don’t guide me on “what’s supposed to be right”. Don’t read me the rule book. I am yet to jump out of the aeroplane and shout at top of my lungs. I am yet to color my hair crazy and regret about it a day later. I haven’t yet embarrassed myself at a Karaoke. I am still not ready to swallow tablets when sick! When will I ever learn to skate? And oooh Salsa! Still have a night to spend toiling on what will be my pet’s name, once I have one. My last first kiss has still not arrived! I am yet to commit many more silly mistakes of my life. I still have so much to achieve. So when you say, do this, do that, you should know I’ll not listen. You should know, I’ll be on my own, and I’ll be fine.