I barely remember what I last wrote about. Loosening ties with myriad things from the past. Is time playing its magic trick? Life is changing. Some days for the better, some days for the worst. I have become more subtle with my reactions and it sometimes scares me. I guess things still affect me but I express them in a more feeble manner. It is hitting more hard than ever to me that everything I experience is fleeting. All the priceless moments and all the tormenting nights. How does one stay sane amidst this chaos of variation? Where nothing is consistent, each day is a new challenge, and any slight indication of stability turns into a farce. I am a living paradox of patience and restiveness. Count me for ages but lose me by the hours. Working on my flaws, taking up healthy habits, getting better each day. Consistency comes with time, isn’t it?
Why do we have this constant need for approval? This thought running subtly in the background, to prove. Every small thing. My job should speak of the money I am earning. My clothes have to be super dandy! I am not dumb, I know current affairs. I am not emotionally unstable, I eat and sleep and interact. I work hard, just go through my schedule.
I have to make a point!
What will they think?
Whatever share of life you are living, why the need to stamp it with approval or in better words, why strive to prove? People will come, give a comment or two and move on. You don’t have to rub your brains around why they said it. They haven’t stated a fact; it is only one opinion. And a person saying, you have it easy doesn’t really make anything easy for you. Just be strong, trust your instincts. Give yourself a chance to believe that you are not half as bad. And you don’t need anyone’s consent for this. Good day!
As a teenager, I hated being called anything close to this term, mature. I used to grumble: you get mature when you get old. I am still young with many reckless years to spend. I don’t know who changed the dimensions but “mature” doesn’t offend me that much now. I do behave pampered and unreasonable on many a occasions but on a larger scale, maturity has laid its dirty hands on me. Yeah! I know! Here are few observations that I believe make a person fall under this “grown up” category:
> When your friend has been an ass and you know it pretty well; yet you call them up to reconcile.
> When your heart gets broken and you don’t curse them back.
> When you are going on a family trip and all bookings have been made under your name and not your parents like it used to be.
> When someone cancels on a fun evening and you totally “understand”.
> When loneliness at times, comforts you.
> When you have two, three, five fixed deposits to be matured in coming months.
> When you start carrying umbrella in your bag before stepping out of your house.
> When your ex talks about his present and you are the one to give friendly advice.(sucks! Even after gallops of maturity)
> When you start dating keeping perspective bride/groom in your mind. :D.
> No matter what shit happens in your life, you try to be cool.
> When cleaning your room has become a part of your routine.
> When you shop based on necessity rather than on whim.
> When reading sounds like the perfect leisure time.
> When 11 pm is way too late for you to be awake.
> When being called matured seems right to you, more like a compliment; there! you have matured my friend.
P.S. No matter what, keep that prickly kid alive in you!!!