Musings #013

Oh my God. Could some people just get on your nerves? Or some days, do you find yourself just really short on tolerance? Everyone disappoints you at some point and you prick them likewise.

So how do you find composure when you are agitated? How do you find the balance with loving someone and also accepting their follies? There is no perfect human made for us. Your friends, your loved ones, your family, they all fall short on something. And you do too. Because we as humans have a very delusional state of perfection. We want everything. And then we find flaws even in the best of circumstances. It’s like we were designed to be unsatisfied. To complain. To focus on the pitfalls.

Can’t rest with a moment of peace. Some disruption. Something to bother you. That’s how life rolls. Even in joy, some misery is essential.

Toothpaste

Oh well.

In today’s episode of arbitrary musings, we have,

What’s the deal with toothpaste tubes?

It’s a regular squeeze for half of its life time and pure battle for the rest of it.

Whoever thought…. “Let me make it more difficult than it should be.” I have an issue with this weird utility product.

For starters they are slightly over priced than the remaining of your groceries. I don’t mind that so much, however, the struggle to use it to its last bit is so real.

What do I even do? After squeezing the hell out of it, I still know there’s plenty left. My Asian instincts to not waste kick in, so I squeeze it for a few more days. And there is still more.

At the risk of sounding petty, I have often contemplated cutting it using a blade and using the remanants of it but never really got there. Would always wonder how much of it goes to waste.

So I replace it with a new tube, going through a tiny guilt trip, every time I throw the used one into the bin.

There’s clearly some unfinished business between us.

Era of flakiness

At the risk of sounding like an old grumpy grandma, I would say this: The times we are living in are extremely peripheral, with no real substance to it. I could be wrong, I would like to be wrong about this but I look around and cringe often. I’ll present in the coming days a few exhibits of the things that piss me off or push me to do a dramatic eye roll, facepalm whatever you want to call it!

Exhibit 1: Song lyrics

I was listening to this 90s Macarena song and came across a newer version called ‘Ayy Macarena’ by Tyga. The lyric goes like:

“Ayy, Macarena, Macarena, Macarena (ayy)

Put the chopper on a nigga, turn him to a sprinter (yee)

Bitches on my dick, told ’em give me one minute (one minute)

Ayy, Macarena, aight (ayy)”

Source: LyricFind

Crushing 90’s innocence much?

The new Billboard chart topper is this song called WAP that begins with.. “Whore in this house, there’s some whores in this house.”, to some thrilling beats that would make you want to dance. The rest of the song just follows suit. Excerpts:

I don’t wanna spit, I wanna gulp

I wanna gag, I wanna choke

I want you to touch that little dangly dang

That swang in the back of my throat

LyricFind

There is a Tiktok song doing the rounds called Candy by Doja Cat:

I can be your sugar when you’re fiendin’ for that sweet spot

Put me in your mouth, baby, and eat it ’til your teeth rot

I can be your cherry, apple, pecan, or your key lime

Baby I got everything and so much more than she’s got

LyricFind

There are so MANY more of these songs. I don’t say it’s inappropriate or out of line. But they sure lack taste. I don’t even know how to explain it, it’s like everything’s on the table, there is nothing more left to hide or deduce. No hidden charm to it. No such thing as innocent fun. Or naivety. And that’s where I sigh. Our world is now turned into normalising teenagers wearing skimpy clothes, doing provocative poses and prancing around to…

I’m a savage (yeah)

Classy, bougie, ratchet (yeah)

Sassy, moody, nasty (yeah)

Acting stupid, what’s happening? Bitch (what’s up?)

What’s happening? Bitch (what’s up?)

LyricFind

Some would say, Have a little fun?

To them I want to say, I do enjoy these songs and I am a part of the problem. What’s happening to the world we live in? Where are we heading?

I shall continue my rant tomorrow…

Attention

Am I writing for the likes?

Posting photos for the views?

Living for the heck of it

And loving for attention?

Am I incapable of deep thought?

Am I too simple to be complex?

Is complexity the only mystique thing?

And am I seeking to be mystique then?

No vices make the virtue look boring

Am I overly consumed in my virtues?

And too self-centred to notice?

Or am I getting carried away with opinions again?

Musings #110

The fear of losing something or someone is so inherent in me that it becomes really difficult to come out of that shell. I wouldn’t suffer, if I didn’t fear. How does one attain that level of nonchalance? Or are we, as humans, just built to bring upon self-inflicted misery to ourselves?

I terribly miss feeling self-sufficient. It would get lonely at times but I slept in peace. Woke up without stress. It’s funny, I am working towards being someone I once was. I have been writing way too many sad posts. Been paying attention to all the wrong things. There is so much beauty around to savour. It just needs the right eyes.

No apt titles/>#!?”

NHUHE6265I wish I could get by life with a little less of self doubting. Need to take that plunge. Want to break out of the humdrum. Have to act now. I miss these blogs that used to be my emotional outlets. I guess, will get back to the things I identify doing.

For some unfathomable reason I am hooked to this TV Series, Desperate Housewives. There, I put it out. Time to get off unhealthy routines.

Wonder what’s changed with WordPress during this time. Things are changing too fast around the world anyway.

Anomaly

I have missed you WordPress. My company in solace. Today, I find myself in a deep pit of restlessness again and I come back, trying to find some answers. Could you sit back and cater to my delusional ideas, please. How agitating it is not knowing what you want in life? I find myself drifting away from reality. I am uncomfortable around my friends I once shared great bonds with. Makes me wonder, were they friends at the first place? Family equations are getting complex by the day. I am starting to feel dissatisfied with my work. Too reluctant to advice, too stubborn to changes. I know I need to change certain things about me, I just don’t know where to start and if it is too late. Even if I turn out to be an anomaly, it would help if I was a self-contained one.

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Eventful ride

images-4Ever since we happened, I tend to realize what was missing in I. No, the sky is still blue, the trees are still green, but I have caught on an assimilating hue to the surroundings. As if I fit in the frame some how. It feels as though my hourglass had been tilted horizontal to a standstill and now I find, the time is running again. I am growing to be more accepting of the change, less restricted to my flaws. Still unprepared but less wary of the future. You have got me too occupied in the present. To my surprise, this doesn’t seem new, but quaintly familiar. Are you a part of me from the yore that went missing and later decided to come back? Words ain’t helping. You say I am happier in love. May be, unwind my happiness then?

Quandary

Days when I don’t talk, I am waiting for the storm to settle. For my senses to resurface. Run back to the routine. Everything is bleak yet there is a comfort in the unknown. I am all up for novel experiences, and this unabashed uncertainty is the first of its sorts. Did I say too much, do I go too far? Where do I stand? What do I want? Days when I am not talking, these rigmarole of questions keep hitting my conscience.

I am wading away from the past, subconsciously. It pricks me a bit because past was my idea of perfection. Now, it is gone. But present is here, and present looks good too. :).