Musings #015

Oh man!

I have been from extremely elated yesterday to feeling extremely dejected today.

I am feeling so out of my skin. There are new people in the house. Friends, family and partner are all away. Growing distant to the old friends. Growing concerned over my ageing parents. Growing complacent in a happy relationship.

It’s so difficult to safeguard one’s innocence.

Is it a human tendency to seek distress? A lot of my long standing problems got resolved yesterday. I was super relieved. And today was like a fresh canvas sort of a day. And what did I do? Absolutely wasted it away.

I have been feeling lonesome. So many people around and so alone. These changing times, constant barrage of social media, flimsy dating culture around, the need to have an opinion on everything, how much can you share, what is cool and what’s not, feeling old, friends talking about having kids, covid, zoom calls, weight gains, criticisms, trust issues, social awkwardness, life. Aaaaaarghhhhh. It’s like I am feeling pukish but in a metaphorical sense. Don’t even have a solution yet.

Floating pool of thought

What was familiar is no more acquainted.
What looked appealing has lost its sheen.
What seemed plausible subtly moved out of equation.
What never crossed mind is vaguely falling in the routine.
What should have been, is now a never could have been.
What drew delight now fails to curb the despair.
What caused ripples is barely in sight.
What was loved is piled amongst lost.
That what is lost strangely gives comfort.
Expect the unexpected, they say.
Live each moment to the fullest.
Life is such..What is one to make of it?