What do you do when you can’t help feeling a certain kind of way? There is no right or wrong to it. But you end up feeling helpless, at the mercy of your own will. I am realising that moving past a mistake is difficult. You know that’s the only way out of your misery. But you can’t seem to do it anyway. The feeling erupts unannounced, and leaves you disappointed over the progress you have made. Makes you feel that you’ll never move on. But you know you will move on. Just need to figure out how. Can’t be impossible, isn’t it?
I am deciding to be productive from tomorrow. It’s a little difficult to make up your mind for something when you’re going through a problem, but baby steps could help. I have been stalling to learn French since forever. It’s been a very on again, off again relationship with the language since 3 years but I absolutely love it. And I am resolving to become fluent in it by the end of 2020. That gives me about eight months in hand. C’mon girl! You can do it.
I see the flowers and they are smiling at me. I smile back. They say to me, “Your smile is infectious. Smile often, dear girl.”
Je vois les fleurs et ils me sourient. Je souris en retour. Ils me disent: <<Ton sourire est infectieux. Souris souvent, chère fille.>>
Credits: Google Translate
The fear of losing something or someone is so inherent in me that it becomes really difficult to come out of that shell. I wouldn’t suffer, if I didn’t fear. How does one attain that level of nonchalance? Or are we, as humans, just built to bring upon self-inflicted misery to ourselves?
I terribly miss feeling self-sufficient. It would get lonely at times but I slept in peace. Woke up without stress. It’s funny, I am working towards being someone I once was. I have been writing way too many sad posts. Been paying attention to all the wrong things. There is so much beauty around to savour. It just needs the right eyes.