I am 30 years old. April just swooped right past me and I turned a little older a week back. I am grateful for the fact that I can work from home, get paid and only have to complain about my mood swings from time to time. I wish to see my loved ones like everyone else in this situation. I want to remove any toxic traits from my life and work on my betterment. 30 was supposed to be a big deal. It kind of is. Here’s to another decade of growing from experiences. Let life surprise me in new ways. I sleep now.
What was familiar is no more acquainted.
What looked appealing has lost its sheen.
What seemed plausible subtly moved out of equation.
What never crossed mind is vaguely falling in the routine.
What should have been, is now a never could have been.
What drew delight now fails to curb the despair.
What caused ripples is barely in sight.
What was loved is piled amongst lost.
That what is lost strangely gives comfort.
Expect the unexpected, they say.
Live each moment to the fullest.
Life is such..What is one to make of it?
As a child, my mom used to instigate me for every little activity. Beta wake up…Kido! Get ready for school..don’t leave before having breakfast…one more bite…yes this is the last bite etc etc..I have vague happy memories of it. Now that I am a grown up girl (don’t quite like calling myself a woman yet), I do things on my accord. Wake up when I want….sleep if I want to…eat, drink…sing..bath…all on my wish. I think I was way more organized when handled by my mom. Now I am just a living example of disorientation. Effortlessly messy if you want to call it. This is how I have been for a past few months.
So lately, I met this guy who I am kind of attracted to (haven’t fully disclosed it though 😛 ) and for some reason he has brought discipline back to my life. He hasn’t urged me for anything…but as a part of routine I am back to cooking again…reading again..grocery shopping! Arranging, cleaning..more importantly eating…I got way too lax on eating. I am surprised. I don’t even tell him any of this. But he is making me human again, if that makes any sense. I reckon that is something to dig for. :D.