Sometimes, I feel it is an okay thing to be lost and dreamy. To be so immersed in your own disorderliness that propriety feels uncanny. You get comfortable in your skin, not vain, yet extremely defensive of any change suggested otherwise. Things that made you extremely insecure at one point of time do not make much sense now. You have outgrown your own subtle dilemmas; outgrown some ties; probably outgrown some people too. Came in terms with your follies. Forgiven yourself and forgiven people who may have wronged you in the past.
Watched this movie today: Mr.Nobody, and got stuck to a quote from it:
Every path is the right path. Everything could have been anything else and it would have just as much meaning.
Living in peace does seem like a ridiculously difficult summit to achieve but one can always work in that direction.
P.S. : The title could even be Sleep Deficit Grown up talks. :D.
Tomorrow, I’ll be shifting to a new house. Somehow managed to pack my stuff with an injured feet through a friend’s help. She was a blessing in disguise. I have been staying in the current room for about three years. To be honest, I am a bit anxious about leaving this place, that I have grown pretty comfortable staying at. Probably the reason why I am writing about it on my last night here.
It took a little while but this became my home. Memories. Moments of all kinds, nerve-wrecking and some breath-taking. Funny as it may sound but this house has witnessed me grow, been my humble abode on good and bad days.
I guess the feeling is natural. You get attached, and then you have to let go. Of course it is a tad bit more flummoxing to people who are emotional, isn’t it? Time to bid adieu. Here’s to changes, for the better. :).
These words could invoke loneliness at a whole new level. You have someone but only as empathetic as the wall in your room. You can’t run to them. You can’t demonstrate your authority over them. You cannot even complain to the universe. You lay in your bed, head tilted upside down embracing the emptiness inside your head. Plenty of questions. No answers. In life, at times, one trips over circumstances which are not a throughput of your own deeds. I want to say, accept what comes. Cringe. Dole. Find your own way through. Try and accept it.
The heat is soaring here in Bangalore and the weather occupies too much of my mind to be thinking about anything else. That persistent craving to go take another bath, the no ends tan, the discomfort in clothing…all regular hot weather grievances. Although, one thing I absolutely adore about the summer season: Mangoes! I patiently wait for this time of the year when I can relish these sweet little things in all their glorified forms: milkshakes, fruit slices, ice-creams, you name it. Immense love out there. So much so that I am posting about mangoes here. Not a food fanatic but yeah, this fruit fanatic!
Apart from this, life is going good. Living it, one day at a time. Not much contemplation; not much of trepidation. Finding ways to smile in little things. Accepting the way certain people are, not letting it space out my peace of mind.
P.S. This weekend’s highlight was watching SRK’s movie FAN, which I read a lot about, also loved; and then me buying mangoes and eating them and going crazy over them.
Day 2, Quote 2, of the quote challenge! Was nominated by this perky little sweet teenager “An Ordinary Girl”…and here is her blog that you should definitely visit!
Here is today’s quote:
I know, this quote would mean different things to different people. I mean, I am not cliff jumping or sky diving at this moment in my life but very affirmatively, I am not in my comfort zone right now. I am in a quandary of sorts. To be and what to be! Learning a hell lot of things..To not lose patience. To chin up. To understand. To let go. To stay strong, to smile that smile. This is all part and parcel of life, isn’t it?! Ergo!
Good day, you all!
palfitness ..you have almost read all of my posts by now, Thank You !!
There are two ways about it. About any conflicting situation. For any troubling scenario. You either let it get on your nerves or you let it not bother you. You either rub your head around it or you don’t give a fuck. Not to be rude, but you either let it gulp you in, or you choose to wade out of it. This time around, I am choosing to take it light! All these collective bunch of complexities.
Yes, easier said than done. Agreed, not a cake walk. Probably, a sporadic momentary positive thought. But, the intentions are benign. No harm done, no harm taken. Keep a good heart. Keep that smile on. Keep faith in those weird beautiful accidents happening in space. I am urging it to myself and well, you guys too!
Ah! Another December. Aren’t they intense? And aren’t they inexplicably beautiful, in thought and sight? Don’t they make you put your thinking caps on? Winters suddenly feel chillier. And you sit and start looking back at the year gone by. How it changed you. How you evolved into something different. Last heard, this time of the year, you were some version of yours and now you have upgraded to xyz.2015.1.0. You met new people, got into new jobs, went through some break ups, gained some pounds, lost some pounds, travelled new lands, created new memories. Now, as December heralds, there is this urgency in my head, that the moments I have lived shouldn’t fade. Where do I store them? How do I remember them all? The year-end is coming close and it feels like something is escaping my hands too. Wish I could make a movie of it all and save in my hard disk as I do with other good stuff I find online. Is this why they say every beautiful thing comes to an end? And every end is a new beginning?
Dear December, I want to hold you close and not let go. But as we don’t have that option, let me embrace you in all your flavours and cherish your charm, till it lasts.
Should I stop conversing because the negativity turns me down? I think I talk less to people because I don’t know what they might say next to piss me off. Yes, a totally wrong approach. But I stay rather at peace without the struggle to understand motives behind other’s words. No matter how well you know the person, they have this dorky side they will present you with and then you question your own sanity for being friends with such a dork! I guess something is wrong with my internal wiring, that in my hunky dory state I scavenge and find reasons to turn blue. Yes, sadness is way more poetic and all things beautiful. If you want you can forever swim in that ocean but try diving into the happiness pond please! Try soaking in the sun with all its radiance and warmth. You are sufficient. Aren’t you? Chuck naysayers. I want to say fuck…okay fuck them. Peace out.
Roots. Places you belong to. The home where your heart is. Roads that you have treaded for years, time and again. People who have shaped what you are today. Surroundings where your childhood crackled; your teenage strolled, snooping and sneaking. The laughter, the fights. You have been through it all, right here. Your base foundation. The soil whose scent you cannot wane. A place that holds memories so many, you can’t ever finish recollecting.
We tend to drift away. We change and grow and evolve. We meet new people, see new places, plan on seeing newer places. Move to greener pastures and similar stuff. Our roots though, they are instilled like how salt dissolves into water. Not much to say today. Just that, NEVER forget your roots people.
No! No! No! Don’t tell me I am a grown up. Don’t expect me to act my age. Don’t guide me on “what’s supposed to be right”. Don’t read me the rule book. I am yet to jump out of the aeroplane and shout at top of my lungs. I am yet to color my hair crazy and regret about it a day later. I haven’t yet embarrassed myself at a Karaoke. I am still not ready to swallow tablets when sick! When will I ever learn to skate? And oooh Salsa! Still have a night to spend toiling on what will be my pet’s name, once I have one. My last first kiss has still not arrived! I am yet to commit many more silly mistakes of my life. I still have so much to achieve. So when you say, do this, do that, you should know I’ll not listen. You should know, I’ll be on my own, and I’ll be fine.