I barely remember what I last wrote about. Loosening ties with myriad things from the past. Is time playing its magic trick? Life is changing. Some days for the better, some days for the worst. I have become more subtle with my reactions and it sometimes scares me. I guess things still affect me but I express them in a more feeble manner. It is hitting more hard than ever to me that everything I experience is fleeting. All the priceless moments and all the tormenting nights. How does one stay sane amidst this chaos of variation? Where nothing is consistent, each day is a new challenge, and any slight indication of stability turns into a farce. I am a living paradox of patience and restiveness. Count me for ages but lose me by the hours. Working on my flaws, taking up healthy habits, getting better each day. Consistency comes with time, isn’t it?
I am all over the place. Certain life situations break your heart into pieces. Make you feel like this is the end of it all. Everything slipping out of hands. One having no control over the present. You just have to live through the wretched train of events.
The end of anything beautiful is always painful. Though you pictured and recreated the end in your head a zillion times…this is how it will end..and this is how I will deal with it. And you distance yourself from anything that could remotely hurt or even prick you. Fixed, coped, mended yourself. Let time play its magic on you.
And still, here I am…almost akin to a bruised puppy. Thought I had excelled the art of letting go. It’s funny how time flies and your feelings don’t even budge a centimeter. I read this somewhere…Love what you love with reckless abandon. And what if it only torments you in return?
Live the pain. Embrace it. I would say revel in it. Don’t make your emotions subject to a person’s action. And then love and laugh a little more. Don’t they say every end is a new beginning?
Time is flying! Really! I was perusing through my About page and I realized I have to update my age again..I just turned 26 a week back. Officialy treading to the tumultuous path of adulthood. So, after one crosses 25, aren’t we supposed to be like oh well! yeah! age is just a number. I don’t know though. I still want gifts and cakes and all “it’s your day” drama around me. Birthdays are a big deal for me.
So anyway, this one went quite smooth as I was on a road trip to a friend’s wedding who decided to get married on my birthday(!). Speaking about weddings, my friends are on a full-fledged nuptial spree. They are either hitched or in the process to be. Everyone is talking about it or thinking about it. And here I am..attending back to back marriage functions, in December, Feb, March, April..Phew.
And also, here I am, clueless about my own future. Questions come at me like…do you want to go for love marriage or arranged marriage? And I am answering things like, I don’t want to go for marriage. Which is true though, per my current state of mind. I mean how does a marriage define you are on the right ladder of your journey? I have no thoughts in my mind lately. I also am hating the fact that I am growing apart to some of these so-called “friends”. Makes me question the very foundation that, Were we even friends at the first place?
So anyway, as I age, things are getting murkier. People are changing. I am changing. I know not what is right, nor what is age appropriate. I know it is my journey, and I have to traverse it on my own rules.
P.S.These are all pics from the weddings I attended in the past few months. Lots of fun, food, dance, happy moments.