Who’s to rescue?

You have that effect on me.

The butterflies fluttering, the warm fuzzy feeling evoking, smiling from the stomach, feeling at home kind of effect. It’s difficult to express as I am bad at expressing myself. But it would be nice if you could pay a visit to the inner workings of my mind. You would have a clue.

Once bitten, twice shy. And I am shy this time around. That feeling of unabashed, reckless abandon has been snatched from me and it saddens me quite a lot. I am discreet now. Not by nature but through a force of habit maybe? It is what it is, and I cannot hold on to a certain way I used to feel.

Could something that has been besmirched, still hold value? Could one truly relish oneself, for what they are? It’s a battle between self-worth and being compassionate. Path to seeking forgiveness could be very difficult but the path to forgive isn’t a cake walk either. The mind understands but the heart cannot accept. Such quandary! Such difficult inner battles.

In betweens

What does one do with the momentary thoughts in between?

When you love a person dearly and they disappoint you gravely on some days.

When you like your job but it tires you out to exhaustion at times.

When you know your friends have your back but you hesitate to reach out.

When you adore your parents but also get annoyed with them, for not holding the phone right during video calls.

When the weather is sunny but there are clouds too.

All the riches in the world, yet you lack the feeling of contentment.

When you cherish someone’s memory but won’t contact them, as you have crossed that bridge once.

When the wound has healed but the scar is determined to stay permanent.

When you are seeking answers in black and white and it’s grey.

That weird little feeling of exasperation.

Fleeting, yet impactful.

Doesn’t linger, doesn’t simmer, still burns you from inside.

A face in Canterbury