Hand me a family pack of ice cream or a jumbo bag of chips to churn on, that will last through the day. Because that is all I want to do; sit in a blank space and muse over you. Skip my chores and ruminate. Vanish away from these social etiquettes and prance around, like I did, knowing that you own some bit of me. Sit by the beach, have some corn and memorize you in detailed bits and pieces. Sip on a really large mug of coffee and laugh about our silly innuendos. May be I am craving for food, may be I am yearning for you. It is hard to say. I don’t want to be appeased. And food is not going to quench my appetite. So, I just come here and write. With no intentions in mind.
Note to self: Have to shift to happier posts soon.
Yeah..it is unethical..and not girl-like to talk about shit in public…but “why waste time abiding opinions”. So here I am with a poop story. God made me realize the very essense of patience today. I was out with my friends, celebrating a pal’s birthday and we ate a plethora of food from this restaurant(won’t name the damned restaurant) Everything under control yet. So was heading towards my home at night. And my stomach started taking some unsual rides. I was like okay..this is normal because I had so much to eat! Little did I know what was coming up. This uneasiness in my stomach started surging..increasing with each passing minute. So much so that I booked a cab instead of using the public transport(about ten times cheaper) so that I could use the loo sooner. Didn’t have NO strength or patience to search for it near by. I was still half an hour away from my poop destination. To be frank, I was pretty amused as I have very high threshold in these matters. I was talking to myself in head: Shit man! What’s wrong ? How can I feel so icky. That too being an adult. That ride was like the longest ever. iPod was turned off. Cellphone bunked into my bag. I was so directed and focussed I cannot express! Each red signal on the way paced my stomach molecules and made me hurdle here and there. MOST PATHETIC half an hour of my life. What all tricks did I manifest to deviate from my current situation! I was thinking about my past boyfriends. And then about things that calm me down. Shopping. Beaches. Washrooms. NO HELP. So I just sat there and took God’s name..and said to myself…just a few more minutes for the doors to Heaven. :D. And i proactively took out my keys and the money I had to pay to the driver. At last..it was over! There is no relief better than such. PS: There was something wrong with the food! My friend called me up cursing it later and said..aaaiii..loose motions! 😀
Came to a pizza outlet..sitting there..waiting for my order…could have had it home delivered..but I always come instead. I like going through the added trouble..makes it worth the wait may be..and no I am not going to blog about my every waking activity..:D..but coming here gives me minutes to think..a friend of mine disconnected himself from all social media..whatsapp etc..he says it consumes his time..another friend says she wants some me time..she will go and sit by the beaches for hours..I guess this can count as one of my odd habits..coming alone, sitting, staring, waiting. Don’t know, I kind of like it.
My mind is warning me at the moment: don’t write anything now…it will be trivial and boring and repetitive and what not. I have gone against my mind’s whim and started a new post.
May be I’ll try out some few lines. How do I fight against my own mind?! I have been thinking and I have got a headache today probably because of overthinking. Or probably because of under eating. I want to stay fit and I am too lazy to cook. These things are not going right the way they are. Sooner I am going to end up in a sick bed. Let me come up with a solution. I avoid cooking for every minimal reason. Whatever happened to my self loving funda? Not eating is one form of carelessness right and an indication that I don’t worry much about myself. Why? Why am I not worrying. Self loathe? Noh. I want all good things for me. :D. Then laziness probably. And I do cook good. I love what I cook. It’s laziness for sure. What’s the cure for laziness? I googled while I am on this post. Wiki says:
Figure out the real issue – Okay!
and then it goes on about, focus on the actual problem, get organized, jump out of bed, start, mind the self-talk, don’t give up..oh my god it is full of suggestions.
Am I hurting, am I uninspired, am I tired or overwhelmed? Hmm, well, I know one thing: I am hungry as hell right now and none of the above. Will take the cue, and enter my kitchen.