I wish your eyes spoke exactly what my eyes heard, in that moment.
I wish our words found a little more than a few seconds for exchange.
I wish we weren’t so alike and our worlds so different.
I wish we didn’t have enough reasons to run amok; that we weren’t so flawed.
I wish our silliness could go on, no formalities to pile on.
Sometimes, I wish the time to stop and not pass me by.
Sometimes these things, you just can’t deny.
Probably I would. May be I shouldn’t.
What if I didn’t? If only I could.
May be we are. Clearly we were.
These labyrinth of emotions that you have rendered upon me. I am caught in between the devil and the deep blue sea. My own words don’t make sense to me these days. The wait kills me, and I am on tenterhooks about the confrontation. Profanity and propriety seem to differ only by a thin line. Not even sure if the line exists. Thinking about our simpler times amuses me. We were at the brim of normalcy at one minuscule point. Then, it all turned bizarre. May be bizarre is our destiny. So be it. Amidst all of the chaos, one thing I am certain on. It is the ferocity of my emotions for you and their unwavering will to remain. Am I a fool in love? Then again, who isn’t.
Deprived of sleep since three nights.
So anything I write probably won’t come out right. I know what is to be done. I know the sane route. I know shit happens. I know each problem is temporary. Yeah I am those freaky miss know-it-all kinds! But the mind is outrageously protesting normalcy. It wants to sulk. It wants to ponder. It wants to sit still and lament. It wants to hold on to something that is left no more. Uhh shudder. The pain and toll of separation. Even sounds so over the top schmaltzy.
It’s a shame we got jinxed baby!
Just give me back my sleep.
P.S. Readers, kindly bear.
3.40 am IST
I would rather sleep…than blog at this untimely hour. You know, healthy habits. Yet… (you can figure out rest of the story!)
I am not quite cognizant about the mechanism of karma…from an amateur perspective…looks like a big term to me..in line with other complicated topic of discussions like soul, yoga, art of living, galaxies, rotational physics, fourier transform, five dimensional space etc… something akin to Christopher Nolan movies! You have got to think little harder. But I do believe in karma. I guess so.
And when I say that, what I mean is…if you do things with a good intention in mind, not trying to put anyone down, not with ulterior motives at the back of your head, not to harm, not to deceive, not just for the sake of doing it; when you put your heart into something, universe makes sure you are served well. Good things will happen to you. Just keep going and hang in there!
P.S. have found a thin white strand of hair amidst my brownish blackish hair that I love and See..I am already talking about karma and stuff!