The heat is soaring here in Bangalore and the weather occupies too much of my mind to be thinking about anything else. That persistent craving to go take another bath, the no ends tan, the discomfort in clothing…all regular hot weather grievances. Although, one thing I absolutely adore about the summer season: Mangoes! I patiently wait for this time of the year when I can relish these sweet little things in all their glorified forms: milkshakes, fruit slices, ice-creams, you name it. Immense love out there. So much so that I am posting about mangoes here. Not a food fanatic but yeah, this fruit fanatic!
Apart from this, life is going good. Living it, one day at a time. Not much contemplation; not much of trepidation. Finding ways to smile in little things. Accepting the way certain people are, not letting it space out my peace of mind.
P.S. This weekend’s highlight was watching SRK’s movie FAN, which I read a lot about, also loved; and then me buying mangoes and eating them and going crazy over them.
I am a very very very moody person. I might not have any substantial reason for the course of my actions. I don’t give my moods much thought. Days I am not sleeping…it’s fine I am not sleeping. I am shopping insane…okay..little hole in the pocket..no big deal. Not eating adequately..and people going like, you are getting way too thin…oh yeah I know that..I have seen myself! That.. getting to the root of the problem, is NOT my thing. Yeah I do notice the problem and then I probably just walk past it (I know! not healthy or advisable). I don’t know what’s making me write about myself today. I feel like I am at that phase of my life where I have options in plenty. I can take some sensible course, or digress to some silly path, tread the unknown routes or walk the safe lane. There is no weight on my shoulders, no one is pushing me around to do things their way, I am feeling awkwardly light. You know? Like I need some weight. Something to drive me in a particular direction. Uhh I want to make my own path. Make my time in this vast space of events count. I don’t want to prove anything. I want to be on fire!
Couldn’t it be a simple urge to each choco truffle like other times! Sigh.
Hand me a family pack of ice cream or a jumbo bag of chips to churn on, that will last through the day. Because that is all I want to do; sit in a blank space and muse over you. Skip my chores and ruminate. Vanish away from these social etiquettes and prance around, like I did, knowing that you own some bit of me. Sit by the beach, have some corn and memorize you in detailed bits and pieces. Sip on a really large mug of coffee and laugh about our silly innuendos. May be I am craving for food, may be I am yearning for you. It is hard to say. I don’t want to be appeased. And food is not going to quench my appetite. So, I just come here and write. With no intentions in mind.
Note to self: Have to shift to happier posts soon.
If your friends start judging you..they seem less like a friend. Just be on my corner! Is that so hard? Okay this is off topic.
Past one week has been pretty much mechanical. Sleep. Eat. Work. Home. Sleep. And Loop. Haven’t checked out any latest youtube videos, haven’t checked any new stocks on shopping sites, haven’t read much or eaten anything delicious..days are rolling by. I want to travel more. Want to rumble in the dust more often. Want to drench in the rain. Want to feel that blissful air on top of mountain peaks..want my feet in the river..and want the lush greenery. Want coffee with friends on a terrace top. Want little bruises from a lover that I could secretly smile on about later. Want mom ke haath ka khana(home cooked food!). Want to be a free spirit!
Recalling those lines Ranbir Kapoor iterates in a movie…Main udna chahta hoon, daudna chahta hoon, girna bhi chahta hoon … bus rukna nahi chahta. Fly. Run. Fall. Just don’t want to stop.
Will do something to come out of this humdrum routine. Till then, ciao!