Toothpaste

Oh well.

In today’s episode of arbitrary musings, we have,

What’s the deal with toothpaste tubes?

It’s a regular squeeze for half of its life time and pure battle for the rest of it.

Whoever thought…. “Let me make it more difficult than it should be.” I have an issue with this weird utility product.

For starters they are slightly over priced than the remaining of your groceries. I don’t mind that so much, however, the struggle to use it to its last bit is so real.

What do I even do? After squeezing the hell out of it, I still know there’s plenty left. My Asian instincts to not waste kick in, so I squeeze it for a few more days. And there is still more.

At the risk of sounding petty, I have often contemplated cutting it using a blade and using the remanants of it but never really got there. Would always wonder how much of it goes to waste.

So I replace it with a new tube, going through a tiny guilt trip, every time I throw the used one into the bin.

There’s clearly some unfinished business between us.

Musings #012

Unable to register my emotions these days. What am I feeling? Are there no exhilarating moments in my day? Is monotony becoming tolerable.

I am feeling a mildly negative set of emotions.

Stressed, from the incessant workload. Looks like work has become my life. Appears like the stakes are too high. Haven’t taken a leave from 8 months. It’s starting to bother me a bit.

Blank, about my travel scenes. I am supposed to fly back to India once my work gets done. But it keeps extending. It’s not in my hands and I feel that loss of control strongly, each passing day.

Moody, on some days, for no reason at all. Well anyway, when does one ever understand the complex enigma of mood swings.

Self-doubt. Have always had this thinking where I believe I am not good enough. Have not accomplished anything. Have left things in between without notice or any thought. I want to get out of this mindset.

Drained. From social media. It’s becoming even more disappointing, with every passing day. I need to shift my focus on to better things. This whole social media frenzy is a waste of time. IG, FB, Quora, Google, news and what not. I take way too many pictures on my phone. I really need to slow down.

Okay, I am done with my rant for today.

Count your blessings

These days are rare..but when they happen, i whisk away into the thought pool happily, with abandon.

On such days, I just lay back and allow myself to feel things. Overwhelmed by gratitude for everything I have been able to experience in my life.

Strong connections, great friends, some really nice people, a loving and supportive family, a caring partner.

In this age of instant gratification, we get so caught up in the day to day rush, that we forget the people we have met over our journey to this point. How at peace some moments made you feel. Places where you stayed for two three days, but felt like you belonged there.

Some utterly beautiful sunsets, some very tiring, very worthwhile walks, some long night conversations, some bonds that didn’t seem forced.

Today I am counting my blessings. I know life will throw its setbacks my way, but today I rejoice. And today, I cherish.

Musings #011

How does one think beyond the limits of one’s surroundings when one is confined in the same spot for a really long time. No change of scenery, no human interaction, no intimacy, no banters. I feel like my mind has frozen. Stuck in this loop of mundane activities, trying really hard to stay positive but to no avail. These bad thoughts and scary moments sneak their way in, somehow. I want this feeling of unrest to end. I would like to feel the lightness in my steps and have a zinger for my thoughts. It’s not like I am constantly sad. But I would like to be in a state of carefreeness. I know that feeling, I crave for it now more than ever. Peace in solace. Just, plain and simple peace. 🙂

<<worn out socks>>

Quarantine

Who could have imagined? That we will ever experience something like this. Seems like we are playing a part in some zombie/apocalyptic/pandemic movie(last one being a reality right now). With no one on the streets; Logarithmic graphs rising exponentially. Super markets appearing to be danger zones. Masks. Gloves. Hand wash. 2 metres distance. Cough. Sneeze. News. Cooped up in home. Of course the toilet rolls. And still a long way to go.

Every thing is halted. Universe has intervened in an unprecedented manner. There must be a reason for all this. Something must have gone eerily wrong and needed a stop. Human kind is deliberated to sit and ponder. Well, so will I abide.

I am keeping it low key. Focusing on my self. One day at a time. Reading books. Staying off phone. Movies. Exercise. Funny memes. A little French learning. Simple things, you know.