I seem to have put on a few kilos in the past few months. I have always been petite and this weight gain is a bit of a bummer. I am finding it difficult to adjust to it. At the same time, I am not really doing anything to fix it.
I turned 30 last year and the slowing metabolism is starting to show? I don’t really know. Weight was never a concern for me and now I am seeing noticeable differences.
It’s made me very self conscious. Not liking my pictures. Not feeling confident in my skin. This self pitying will have to stop at some point and will need to take some corrective actions.
Thought I’ll say it out loud.
As a teenager, I hated being called anything close to this term, mature. I used to grumble: you get mature when you get old. I am still young with many reckless years to spend. I don’t know who changed the dimensions but “mature” doesn’t offend me that much now. I do behave pampered and unreasonable on many a occasions but on a larger scale, maturity has laid its dirty hands on me. Yeah! I know! Here are few observations that I believe make a person fall under this “grown up” category:
> When your friend has been an ass and you know it pretty well; yet you call them up to reconcile.
> When your heart gets broken and you don’t curse them back.
> When you are going on a family trip and all bookings have been made under your name and not your parents like it used to be.
> When someone cancels on a fun evening and you totally “understand”.
> When loneliness at times, comforts you.
> When you have two, three, five fixed deposits to be matured in coming months.
> When you start carrying umbrella in your bag before stepping out of your house.
> When your ex talks about his present and you are the one to give friendly advice.(sucks! Even after gallops of maturity)
> When you start dating keeping perspective bride/groom in your mind. :D.
> No matter what shit happens in your life, you try to be cool.
> When cleaning your room has become a part of your routine.
> When you shop based on necessity rather than on whim.
> When reading sounds like the perfect leisure time.
> When 11 pm is way too late for you to be awake.
> When being called matured seems right to you, more like a compliment; there! you have matured my friend.
P.S. No matter what, keep that prickly kid alive in you!!!
I want to write something profound today..like, how I am spending my Saturday in a profoundly messy way…clothes piled up in one corner..pizza spread in another corner…some song playing in the background on my iPod…me unusually comfortable in a not so fitting T shirt..nails a mess..hairs a mess..life a mess…wow! I need some device to disentangle. Soon I am going to turn 25. In two months time frame. I think panicking is the only thing I am proactive at. And for some weird reason, 25 is giving me jitters. I don’t want to grow up. But it’s such a cliched statement. I said the same thing when I was turning 20. Why can’t I be like those uber cool people who make statements like age is just a number! Or you should be young at heart! It’s like I have so many things in my mind..i want to do this..want to do that..and time is flying…flying at light speed…I am running behind it…my hands desperately trying to catch hold of it…and in vain. I want to pledge here forth that I won’t waste my time. I won’t do what I don’t like. I won’t let anyone push me around. I won’t waste a single iota of a minute worrying about what people opine. I won’t sulk because it totally counts as wasting your time. Let’s happily spend time on things that perk me up. Like for the moment dancing out of breath on some stupid song…in this mess of a room! And 25… Come I’ll embrace you with my dancing arms and tipsy smile.
What’s with me and coming late to office these days? Today is one of those mornings when I am getting random thoughts about getting old. Well, I am not looking old now..but I will at some point of time. I dread it. I know it sounds very superficial, but do we only have this irrevocable option to succumb to life? Time won’t stop on our wish. People will change and won’t remain the way you want them to stay. You will age! Is a person supposed to turn despondent?! Or start practising nihilism as a more severe step. Just continuing with angst in your mind does not seem like an option to me. I need quick fixes. I need effective fixes.
If I reflect on myself, I am so mad at a particular person I might..well forget it. I am not even mad. I am just confused lately. Jilted is the word coming in mind. It’s not my surroundings to be blamed. But I have to stop this high low mood swings! Massive indications of an unstable mind. Will venture into something light. Like yeah, I bought this skipping rope. Now is a good time to start skipping. :).
Just scrolled through the Urbandictionary and made me laugh again!
@TheUrbanSlangs: Bite me – A slightly more polite way to say “Fuck off you prick”.
I think I am going to practise that. :D. And many more ways to keep stifling opinions at bay.