These words could invoke loneliness at a whole new level. You have someone but only as empathetic as the wall in your room. You can’t run to them. You can’t demonstrate your authority over them. You cannot even complain to the universe. You lay in your bed, head tilted upside down embracing the emptiness inside your head. Plenty of questions. No answers. In life, at times, one trips over circumstances which are not a throughput of your own deeds. I want to say, accept what comes. Cringe. Dole. Find your own way through. Try and accept it.
Rains make my heart yearn from the deepest of corners. I don’t even make an attempt to subside the feeling. Some days are particularly meant to leave your thinking cap aside and delve into the emotional abyss. No matter how pragmatic I endeavor to be, these darn rains make me abstract, dreamy, making me want to embrace my vulnerable roots. Rains couldn’t be the reason alone..I wonder what complements them. mmm…Moments, isn’t it? Try forgetting a few and they etch even further. I love rains. I hate the mud and clumsiness later on. But I love rains. They used to make me jump in joy. For some reason, they make me a little sad these days. But mostly happy. I can’t quite explain it clearly. Seasons are coming and seasons are going; and in between them, there are rains that make you painfully, beautifully, splendidly reminisce all that has been slipping through your hands in the seasons gone by. Strong forces of nature tickle my frailty every time they visit.
P.S. Raining here in Bangalore after many a hot days. Pure bliss and little chills! <3
Time is flying! Really! I was perusing through my About page and I realized I have to update my age again..I just turned 26 a week back. Officialy treading to the tumultuous path of adulthood. So, after one crosses 25, aren’t we supposed to be like oh well! yeah! age is just a number. I don’t know though. I still want gifts and cakes and all “it’s your day” drama around me. Birthdays are a big deal for me.
So anyway, this one went quite smooth as I was on a road trip to a friend’s wedding who decided to get married on my birthday(!). Speaking about weddings, my friends are on a full-fledged nuptial spree. They are either hitched or in the process to be. Everyone is talking about it or thinking about it. And here I am..attending back to back marriage functions, in December, Feb, March, April..Phew.
And also, here I am, clueless about my own future. Questions come at me like…do you want to go for love marriage or arranged marriage? And I am answering things like, I don’t want to go for marriage. Which is true though, per my current state of mind. I mean how does a marriage define you are on the right ladder of your journey? I have no thoughts in my mind lately. I also am hating the fact that I am growing apart to some of these so-called “friends”. Makes me question the very foundation that, Were we even friends at the first place?
So anyway, as I age, things are getting murkier. People are changing. I am changing. I know not what is right, nor what is age appropriate. I know it is my journey, and I have to traverse it on my own rules.
P.S.These are all pics from the weddings I attended in the past few months. Lots of fun, food, dance, happy moments.