The heat is soaring here in Bangalore and the weather occupies too much of my mind to be thinking about anything else. That persistent craving to go take another bath, the no ends tan, the discomfort in clothing…all regular hot weather grievances. Although, one thing I absolutely adore about the summer season: Mangoes! I patiently wait for this time of the year when I can relish these sweet little things in all their glorified forms: milkshakes, fruit slices, ice-creams, you name it. Immense love out there. So much so that I am posting about mangoes here. Not a food fanatic but yeah, this fruit fanatic!
Apart from this, life is going good. Living it, one day at a time. Not much contemplation; not much of trepidation. Finding ways to smile in little things. Accepting the way certain people are, not letting it space out my peace of mind.
P.S. This weekend’s highlight was watching SRK’s movie FAN, which I read a lot about, also loved; and then me buying mangoes and eating them and going crazy over them.
Missing someone is such a pain. It leaves you with spongy eyes. And a series of sleepless nights. What am I running away from? I don’t think I’ll escape these thoughts. Or ever escape from you. Tiny grains of your character, flashes of your smile, your peculiarities, unrestrained talks, your blemishes and moments of spark, everything has assimilated into me how colors once blended cannot be separated back. They form a composite shade of something new. I am not the same. I guess, now, I am a composite tone of you. Yes, my tints might have affected your contour as well. But I’ll not let it be my concern anymore. I wouldn’t cringe or beam at the thought of you. I would just be, the newer me.
My blog, if it were human, must be really mad at me. I have almost abandoned it. To be true, I am lacking resources and also the zeal to keep up with it. Few observations I have had while I was away:
– I am pretty messed up, don’t know if I was so from before or it is something new.
– I most certainly have some eating disorder which might be a result of myriad other issues.
– I am tired of putting up a strong face. People around me say I am hovering negativity around me. I don’t like their suggestions. I don’t like their advice. I don’t know who means well.
– I need to rise above self speculation. Not bother about every sentence that comes out of someone’s mouth. Not be so self involved. There is a whole world of things outside me. Break the bubble.
– There is no need to prove anything to anyone.
– All is well.
I did visit two-three places meanwhile. Some of my friends marriages and a short summer trip to Puducherry. I also cut my hair. Traveling is good. Surroundings are temperate. But I have to sort myself out. Ah.. if only I could use some magic wand and stop growing up! Nothing seems right these days. Nothing gives immense joy. :(. I do not want to be this gloomy person. I am stalling this post here.